10 Crucial House Rules to Establish on Your Domestic Helper’s First Day

The first day your new domestic helper arrives is critical. She is likely feeling nervous, homesick, and eager to please, while you are probably anxious about handing over your household routines to a stranger.

Many employers make the mistake of vaguely saying, “Just keep the house clean,” and then get frustrated when things aren’t done their way. The secret to a long, peaceful working relationship is establishing clear, fair, and firm boundaries on Day 1.

Here are the 10 crucial house rules you must discuss with your helper immediately, along with tips on how to enforce them respectfully.

1. Mobile Phone Usage Boundaries

This is the number one cause of conflict between employers and helpers. Be extremely clear about when she can and cannot use her phone.

• The Rule: “Mobile phones are not to be used during active working hours or while caring for children/the elderly. You may use your phone during your afternoon rest break and after your chores are done at night.”
• Pro Tip: Always allow her to keep her phone on her person for emergencies, but set the phone to silent.

2. Working Hours and Sleep Time

MOM regulations require helpers to have adequate rest (typically 8 hours of continuous sleep). Setting a schedule prevents burnout.

• The Rule: “Your day starts at 6:30 AM and ends at 8:30 PM. After 8:30 PM, you are free to relax in your room. We respect your rest time, and we expect you to be punctual in the morning.”
• Pro Tip: Provide a written daily timetable so she knows exactly what is expected during those hours.

3. Social Media and Privacy Strictness

Helpers love sharing their lives on TikTok and Facebook, but your family’s privacy is paramount.

• The Rule: “You are not allowed to take photos or videos of our children, our home’s interior, or our belongings. You must never post our address or location on social media.”
• Pro Tip: Explain that this is strictly for the safety and security of the family, not just to be controlling.

4. Kitchen and Dietary Allowances

Food can be a sensitive topic. Clarify exactly how meals will work so she never feels hungry or unsure of what to eat.

• The Rule: “You will have a separate grocery budget of $X per week to buy your preferred foods, OR you are welcome to eat whatever we cook. However, please ask before eating premium items like imported fruits, expensive snacks, or the children’s specific foods.”

5. Honesty and Breakages

Mistakes happen. Glasses will break, and shirts might shrink in the wash. You want to encourage honesty, not fear.

• The Rule: “If you break something, damage an appliance, or make a mistake, tell us immediately. We will not be angry if you are honest. We will be upset if you try to hide it or lie about it.”

6. Security and Opening the Front Door

Home security is non-negotiable, especially if your helper is home alone with your children or elderly parents.

• The Rule: “The front door and gate must be locked at all times. Never open the door for strangers, deliverymen, or salespeople unless I have specifically messaged you to expect them.”

7. Hygiene and Dress Code

Different cultures have different standards of hygiene. Be explicit about what you expect in your home.

• The Rule: “You must wash your hands with soap immediately after returning from the market, using the toilet, and before handling food or the baby. Please wear the provided home clothes/uniform during working hours, and ensure your attire is modest.”

8. Childcare and Discipline

If she is caring for your kids, she needs to know your parenting style and her authority limits.

• The Rule: “Your job is to keep the children safe and follow the feeding/nap schedule. You are never allowed to hit, shout at, or physically punish the children. If they misbehave, separate them and inform me immediately.”

9. Emergency Protocols

Do not wait for an emergency to realize she doesn’t know who to call.

• The Rule: “If there is a fire, a medical emergency, or if someone gets hurt, call 995 immediately. Then, call my mobile phone. Here is a printed list of emergency contacts glued to the fridge.”

10. Rules for the Weekly Rest Day (Off-Day)

MOM mandates at least one mandatory rest day a month that cannot be compensated with pay, but usually, helpers take weekly off-days. Set curfew rules clearly.

• The Rule: “Your off-day is on Sunday. You may leave the house at 8:00 AM and you must return by 8:00 PM. No sleepovers outside are allowed. Please ensure you have rested so you are ready to work on Monday morning.”

Conclusion: Write It Down and Translate It

Verbal rules are easily forgotten or misunderstood due to language barriers. The best practice is to type these rules out, translate them into her native language using Google Translate, and have both of you sign it on Day 1. It sets a professional, structured tone from the very start.

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